Today is just one more step towards a final destination. Whether that destination is soon or far off, it's coming. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the fact that I am going to be ejected into the world as an adult really for the first time after I graduate and leave school. It hurts sometimes, scares me. I don't want to grow up, and that's such an old saying but it's true. I'm scared to grow up. I'm 18, a legal adult in my country, and I feel so strange. I can't do the things others my age can simply because I don't know how to motivate myself, my ADHD makes it nearly impossible to get the motivation to do certain things and now, with graduation coming up I'm beginning to get nervous. Maybe I should tell my counselor this. It's what they're there for. I don't know. These moods don't last for long though, a certain class will bring me back to the positive. Back to where I should be. Use my over thinking mind to play music, write stories, create paintings. I need to remind myself that I am able to control myself, and everything I do. I'm still scared but less so. Whatever comes next will be events to learn from, to cherish and let into my short life that is humanity. My name is Reyland L Witham, I'm 18, a senior at Bangor High and I am a member of AmeriCorps NCCC. I'll try to post everyday. I'm not sure if I will though. It's hard to get into a habit, especially a health one.